Galveston Deserves Better From Its Leaders

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{Written for and Published by The Galveston County Daily News, October 4, 2013}

{this is the unedited version}

The City of Galveston Deserves Better From Its Leaders

by Kimber Fountain

There once was a city over one hundred years ago that lost three thousand buildings and thirty percent of its population in one night. Even before this happened, the city was already financially destitute with no viable assets, credit, or even an organized form of tax collection. A group of men stepped forward and promised to renew the shattered city, and the people responded. On the backs of these leaders and the citizens that followed them fearlessly, that city was literally raised to new heights, breaking all previous financial records, astounding a nation, and solidifying its legacy as a city that could survive anything. They accomplished all of this without a dime of federal assistance.

Although this may sound somewhat grandiose by today’s perspective, islanders never forget that the only reason any one of us is even here, residing or relaxing, is because of what those people did. They sacrificed their convenience and their well-being, but they did not sacrifice their integrity. The leaders who emerged out of the devastation of The Great Storm maintained those positions because they did what they said they were going to do.

Currently, Galveston has a mayor and a council in place who, much like the leaders in 1900, were put there for a very specific reason. The election in May of 2012 was an unquestionable, absolute referendum on what the community knew was best, not just for the present but for the future of the city. That future specifically is the subject which is denied over and over within the chamber walls.

We have always been a city that has done things our way, but now it seems we have leaders in place who are willing to sacrifice both the promises they made verbally and in writing, and the future of our city. Their current stance on the public housing agenda tells a very clear story, a story that says that we have nothing left in regards to economy or funding except the scraps dropped from the table of the federal government; scraps that we will only receive if we are obedient.

And to whom exactly do they tell this story? They tell this story to the small business owners who have chosen Galveston as a place to build their dreams; to cutting-edge researchers, who could change the face of modern medicine with one discovery. They tell this to the thriving industry in our harbor and in our port, and to the scores of non-profit organizations dedicated to perpetuating the cultural enrichment of the island.

When we survey the history of our great city, we remember the men and women who believed so much in the “Spirit of the Island,” that they resurged from ultimate devastation to a position more glorious and prominent than they had ever known. So I ask you, esteemed Mayor and Council, when residents of Galveston look back on you in one hundred years, what will they remember? Will they remember your courage, your tenacity, your prevalence in the face of great odds? Ladies and gentlemen, this is our city’s history that you are writing, and in the tradition of all of those Galvestonians that have come before us, you owe it to the citizens of Galveston to stand for what is right for our future, not what is easiest for now. You accepted that responsibility so very graciously when the votes were counted, but now it is your legacy that counts. One way or the other, whether on the books or on the ballot, it will be remembered.

Kimber Fountain is a writer for Island Guide Magazine.

kimber.f@gmail.com, 409.692.9656

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A Textbook Journey: the literary stepping stones to my discovery of Law of Attraction

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It is often the case with enlightened people that we feel a bit of a tug on the heartstrings when dealing with friends, family members, and those idiots on Facebook. If they only knew! you think, if they would just look a little deeper and see how their thoughts and their words affect their life! Aside from this blog and occasional thought-provoking quote memes that I share, I am for the most part rather quiet about my Knowledge. I do not go beating people over the head with Law of Attraction, I do not try to convince people of its Truth; if someone presents a problem to me or asks for advice, I give my best answer from my perspective but I do not carry on about the Source of that perspective. But still, I do feel frustrated at times when I see people I love and for whom I care deeply obviously sabotaging their lives with their view of things, but I have learned to dissipate that frustration almost immediately, because I know that everyone has their own path, and everyone’s experience, no matter how positive or negative, is still beneficial to the progress of Humanity.

But the main reason I choose not to focus on other people’s journey to the Truth is because I know it is not something that happens overnight. I for damn sure did not just wake up one morning and realize, “Oh! My thoughts and feelings create my World!” However, when I did finally have that beautiful, poignant, awakening moment of clarity, I was immediately inclined to look back and see how I had gotten there, and of course in that looking back I learned a lot, and I saw how The Law of Attraction has been calling me for a very long time, but I had to be ready to receive the message. I had to be in a place where the Truth would seem like Truth, and not just another “self-help” scenario that is a bunch of hogwash.

So if you are a skeptic of LOA but are still reading this, know that I get it. And I don’t blame you or think negatively at all if you think that everything I say is a bunch of hooey. Because there was a time when I would have thought that, too. But also know this. The seed has been planted, and even if you reject the reality of LOA at this moment, it will continue to reveal itself in the timing that is perfect for you. And once you get there, you may be inclined to think, Damn! I wish I would have known this ten years ago! But I am telling you now do not entertain that thought for any longer than the time it takes to think it. Because the truth is, you were not ready ten years ago, the truth is, that when you do ‘get it,’ like me you will probably realize that it was something you knew all along… You have all the pieces to the puzzle inside of you and surrounding you in perfect synchronicity, but often it is not until the last piece is in place that you really see the whole picture.

And so, I offer to you my literary trek into the all-consuming, all-powerful, beautiful, amazing dream that is the Law of Attraction. These were the building blocks of my current Knowledge. And you will see that it wasn’t until the very bottom of this chronological list that I actually found what I had been looking for all along, yet I know that in spiritual journeys, taking the stairs to the top is much easier than scaling the wall. It took me a long time to get up those steps, the first one was taken when I was a small child, and the rest over a span of about fifteen years… But what a journey it has been and I would not change it for anything. Because as Abraham says, words do not teach, only life experience does, and I consider mine all the more special because at its Ultimate Peak, I can look back and see that the truth I know now has evidenced itself in every phase of my growth, and it waited patiently to be found.

You will notice that I will mention quite a bit in the beginning about my life as a Christian, but I feel it necessary to express that that is there because Law of Attraction is not just a way to achieve abundance, prosperity, health, and love. At its core, it is a belief system that completely changes the way we view nonphysical and our physical relationship to it. My journey is not simply one to wealth and fame; it is very much that, but more importantly it centers around knowing Who I Really Am and Who We All Really Are. One simply cannot use the Law of Attraction fully and completely without the knowing and acceptance that we are spirits in human form, not just humans walking around who may or may not have a soul worthy of being saved. We are Infinite creatures, and that which we call God is inside of each and every one of us, a constant connection to Source Energy.

#1 The Bible

Currently my opinion of the Bible and its teachings are far different from the one that I held from childhood until my late twenties. Still, I cannot deny it as the foundation of my journey, because it was The Bible that introduced me to the idea of the nonphysical, spiritual world. Although my definition of God has changed profoundly, I can say that never once in this physical existence have I ever denied or even question the existence of Infinite Intelligence.

Interestingly enough, I actually have a fonder view of the Bible now than I did when I studied it as if it were the ultimate authority on life and how it should be lived, and that right there is exactly why… As a Christian, when I studied the Bible from the perspective of many of its teachers, although I did find comfort and inspiration at times, for the most part it was a source of grief, guilt, and the often misaligned feeling that I was always doing something wrong and I needed DISCIPLINE!

Since my awakening, I have taken a couple of looks into the Bible, and surprisingly I found it is FULL of teachings that point DIRECTLY to the Law of Attraction. Yet of course that discovery also came with the knowledge that its teachings have been bastardized, exploited, and manipulated for the express purpose of manipulating mankind. If it were being taught as it was intended to be taught, as merely a guidepost and not the end-all-be-all-only-way-to-live-life-or-you-will-suffer-for-eternity, well then quite honestly the current explosion of the knowledge of Law of Attraction would have happened a long time ago.

Still, I find it consoling and actually quite a positive experience that I can look at the Bible now and appreciate it for what it is. “What it is,” of course could be a blog all of its own, so for now it will simply remain known as a crucial Step #1 of my Spiritual Journey.

#2 The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo

Still one of my favorite books of all time, I first read The Alchemist when I was in college, at another time in my life when I was rejecting Christianity, but in a rebellious, defiant way, not as I do now based on my alignment with the Truth of Infinite Intelligence. I partied hard, I studied none, I took care of my body even less, I was fat, awkward, sick all of the time, and really had no idea how the fuck I was going to get where I knew I belonged. This book introduced the concept of The Universe, one that deep inside I accepted immediately, but then would spend many subsequent years trying to reconcile it with my preconceived, Christian notion of God (I returned to Christianity when I moved to Chicago after graduation).

The Alchemist is a fable, the tale of a Spanish shepherd boy and his journey to realizing his destiny through his connection to the Universe, and if you have not read it I HIGHLY recommend that you do so. Now. Well, after you finish reading this list. It is an easy read, and almost every page contains something “quote worthy.” These are a few of my favorites:

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

“It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”

“When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there is no need at all to understand what is happening, because everything happens within you.”

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

The Alchemist was a gentle introduction to the premise of Law of Attraction for me, and these quotes and many others would always stay with me, even as I was desperately clinging to the beliefs ingrained in me as a child. Not just Christianity, but the beliefs perpetuated by our society that we have only one chance at life, that life sucks then you die, that we must be required to do what is right, not what is best for us, that we must slave away our lives with the hope of retirement to keep us going, but then when retirement finally arrives you are too bitter and jaded to enjoy it. It was this book that very early on made me believe in my dreams, even though I did not yet know their Power.

#3 The Heart of God, by Rabindranath Tagore

One day when I was living in Chicago, I was downtown in a Borders book store perusing the Theatre section when a misplaced book caught my eye. Tucked in between George Bernard Shaw and Sam Shepard was a collection of poems, much like the Psalms, but written by a late 19th, early 20th century poet from India. Rabindranath Tagore was a prominent author, educator, and social reformer in his native country, and is credited along with Mahatma Gandhi for being the “foremost intellectual and spiritual advocates of India’s liberation from imperial rule.” (from the foreword)

The Heart of God is a collection of seventy-seven of his poems, all of which convey a deep, soulful connection to God that rivals if not exceeds the Psalms of David. Now it is important to know that at the time I discovered this book, I was still a card-carrying Christian Conservative (yes, living in Chicago, that was fun). The reason that is important is because here I was, a person that believed deeply and without hesitation that if you did not believe in Jesus Christ, you were going to hell for eternity, yet I was absolutely enthralled, enraptured by this poetry, I could feel the love for the Infinite oozing off of the page. And here we have true irony, folks, not the black fly in your chardonnay bullshit (Alanis you RUINED that literary technique for every intelligent person, Thanks.) If you will just indulge my abundant love for grammar for just ONE little second, irony is the statement of two opposing truths, from which a third truth can be reckoned. You see why that’s important here? A devout follower of Jesus Christ was moved to tears by the work of a man who knew NOTHING of the Christian faith save maybe the fact that it existed somewhere in another country.

So I know you’re thinking, wow, you said you didn’t find the last piece of the puzzle until the end of the list! Short list, lady! But that’s the thing. At the time I found this book, so taken in was I by the work that I just kind of casually ignored the fact that he wasn’t a Christian (those beliefs hold fast, I know…), and I did not at the time seek out the afore mentioned irony and the third truth that it held. Funny, looking back I honestly don’t know how I missed it, but it was not until many years later that I would remember that book that I had found so serendipitously many years before, and in that remembrance I would realize that the Universe had been trying to tell me something for a very, very long time. I will never forget the day that I pulled that book out and skimmed through the pages. Then in a moment wrought with a peculiar combination of rage and relief, I slammed it shut and shouted to The Universe, “There is NO WAY!!! That this guy is going to hell!”

#4 Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, by T. Harv Eker

Okay, so technically I did not read this book, I listened to it on CD… But it is a book and I am forgiven because I am an avid reader and this is like the only book EVER that I have listened to and not actually read. And it especially counts because it, like The Alchemist, was a bit of a Launchpad back into the teachings of Law of Attraction after I had returned to the teachings of the Christian church. Of course, again, it was not until I got to the end of this list that I truly appreciated what was housed in Eker’s teaching, but it most assuredly was a guidepost, introducing concepts to me that then would not seem so foreign when I came to know what they really meant.

Among the ideas perpetuated in Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is the premise that, “What you focus on, expands.” Duh, right? I appreciated this concept immediately but again did not yet know that to truly “focus” means to align with the God inside me and then think about what I want to focus on. Another interesting piece of this book is the part when he tells about a study of people that suddenly became ultra successful, and what was found was that before this dramatic change occurred, each person had been engaging what he refers to as “blue sky thinking,” the act of envisioning their ideal life, their ideal job, their ideal circumstances. Yet another resounding “duh” can be heard from the LOA Peanut Gallery.

And I know, it is hard to believe for me, too, that by this point in my life I hadn’t quite “gotten it,” it’s like damn, Kimber, how thick-headed are you, right? Well, pretty thick-headed, just like all of us were at one time or another, and how many people are right this moment. You see, THAT is the power of the established belief systems of both modern religion and societal expectations. For those of us that have awakened, let’s just count our lucky stars that burning people at the stake is now considered barbaric and passé…

#5 Enthusiasm Makes the Difference, by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

When I moved back to Texas from Chicago, I began about a three year stint as a car salesman. And I hated almost every fucking minute of it. But what I did love were the people. No one ever says, I want to be a car salesman when I grow up, so my co-workers were always a muddled mix of has-beens and wanna-bees from every rung of the socioeconomic ladder. There were the pretty boy rich kids whose daddy owned the dealership, there were the haggard, washed up lackies who were absolutely useless, there were the power hungry managers who were just downright assholes, but my favorites of course were the old guys that for the most part went unnoticed… But they were always the ones with the Wisdom.

One of those fellas was named Dan, if he had been a character in Office Space, he would have been a cross between Milton and the perky, happy receptionist. One day he handed me a first edition of Enthusiasm Made the Difference, printed in 1972. A lover of both books and all things old I read the book eagerly, and although some of the social references were a bit outdated, the premises contained within resulted in a HUGE shift of my Paradigm: For the first time ever in my life I became an Optimist.

Peale speaks of the effectiveness of enthusiasm when it comes from a deep, centered place and is directed in a positive, productive way, not just brash, feigned energy. And when looked upon from the perspective of Law of Attraction and Who We Really Are, this is just another way of saying that we have the power inside of us to directly affect the circumstances outside of us. This book singlehandedly taught me how to look at situations from a positive perspective, before, my mantra had been “hope for the best, but expect the worst.” Well not only is hope a very weak word when it comes to our Power, if we are expecting anything we should be expecting the best. In fact expectation is one of the biggest keys to utilizing LOA, and if you use it directed toward the worst outcome then guess what? That’s what you’re gonna get. Maybe not directly, but the constant angst and worry created from expecting the worst can manifest itself in many, many ways, and they are not always directly tied to the event about which you are worrying. For example during the time I was living this mantra I always had a great job, I always had plenty of money, and after shedding my gross college weight I was even downright beautiful through most of it. But I was sick all the time (chronic bronchitis), I was nowhere NEAR doing the type of work I wanted to be doing, my personal relationships were unfulfilling and often brief, friendships were strained by my willingness to give and the expectance of them to give, too, and I was FAR from what I would call Happy, even though the bills were always paid on time, I had a great place to live, and plenty of people with whom to party away the time.

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And much like all great writing when it comes from Within, this is exactly the time in my life, from shortly before Enthusiasm up until the discovery of my next Textbook, that all of those aspects of my life did a complete 180. I left Chicago to go to law school, only to be denied the loans I needed two weeks before orientation… So I lived with my parents for a while, had a couple of destructive relationships, moved back to Chicago only to miss my family so much that I started listening to country music, GAG! But moving back didn’t help the loneliness or the despair, and I continued to flounder, working jobs I hated but thought I needed, and after another brief stint of playing the party girl that I SO was NOT, I realized that not only do I despise alcohol (literally, the taste and being drunk just feels gross to me, but everyone does it, right?), but I did not like the friends that alcohol made for me. Then it seemed things started to look up when I met an amazing man, he was everything I thought I wanted, tall, dark, handsome, a great dancer, a great everything. We moved to Galveston, where I was cast in a high profile role at a local theatre, he got promoted… We even got engaged, but two months later everything went to shit. Not only did the relationship end but his promotion was to manager of the restaurant where I bartended, so I quit and had no job. All of our money was in his bank account so we could pay the bills (to which I had no access), rent was due, and the electricity was in his name so guess what? The lights had officially gone out on Kimber.

But interestingly enough, just a couple of months before I met him I had one of my greatest epiphanies, to which I was guided by a very dear friend. His kindred spirit had led me to the full realization that The Universe had been trying to get across to me for so long: although there is some validity in the spirit of Christian teachings, it is by no means whatsoever the only way to get to God. That friend read a passage to me from a book, I don’t remember what it was, but when he finished he closed the pages softly, looked at me gently, and said, “you cannot tell me that this guy is going to hell.” No, no I could not.

However this epiphany was interrupted by the introduction to my lover. I say it was an interruption because he was Muslim, and I was silly enough to think that the only reason I had discovered what I had discovered about modern religion was so that I would not miss out on this love of my life. Hahahahaha!!! Yes, that is me laughing at my dumb, stupid, ya-gotta-love-me self.

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#6 The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne

No cheating here, I have not even seen the movie all the way through, but I have read the book time and time again. The part I love most about my story involving this book is that in the months prior to my afore mentioned epiphany and relationship, I had engaged in a book-swap with a co-worker. I’m pretty sure I gave him The Alchemist, and he brought The Secret to work for me. Now, in case this has not been clearly expressed yet, I LOVE BOOKS. I love them so much that when people lend them to me I NEVER give them back. Not to mention I was totally crushing on this guy so the fact that he had remembered to bring a book to me at work, like well I may as well have been in high school I was just so flattered. I mean HE brought ME a BOOK! How many parts of that sentence are there to love???

The reason I embellish this reaction (not by much, though) is because I did the absolute UNTHINKABLE in a situation such as this: I LEFT THE BOOK AT WORK!! He retrieved it, but never brought it to me again. I am not sure why I was not ready to read it then, but fortunately the Universe knows what it is doing. I needed to have my next experience with The Secret, to really know its value.

The rise from the ashes of my decimated relationship is for the most part a blurry haze… I remember my Dad writing a check to my new landlord, for which he was reimbursed from the selling of my ring… I remember crying a lot, and yelling a lot, and hating myself a lot…

But one thing I remember distinctly was a moment when I asked God for something, very simply but in these exact words… I said, “I want to know my Power.” Something inside of me was stirring… I knew that there was something I was missing, I KNEW from all of my experiences from birth up until that point, that I had a POWER inside of me, I just didn’t know how to get to it. At the time I was asking, I did not know that the Knowledge I would receive was a Power that everyone has, but I did come into complete reconciliation that there was something special about Me. I could effect the weather with my thoughts, I could dissolve clouds, I felt an intense connection to Earth and all the Creatures upon it, I could heal animals, I observed synchronicity EVERYWHERE, I felt within me a deep resonance with spiritual power, and I wanted to know more.

I asked, but then I thought very little of it, until just a short time later my new boss mentioned The Secret to me. And I said, ya know, someone tried to give me that book a long time ago….

The Secret would not only reveal to me the power that I so had been yearning to know, they would not only be the answer to my request, and they would not be the only answer to my request. Most importantly, it was the beginning of my Ultimate and Final reconciliation with the place of modern religion in regards to the Human Experience. It opened me up to the God Within Me, so much more than just a “soul” as the modern connotation dictates, and it brought me to the penultimate realization that Jesus was not any more God than you or I. His story is merely one that has been deified by man, his teachings have been manipulated in order to make You GIVE UP your power, yet all along, all he was teaching Law of Attraction. He told his disciples, “I have come so that you may do greater things than these you have seen.” He didn’t say look at what I did and worship me, Jesus came to be the Grand Example of what Law of Attraction can really do, what You can really do when you harness the power of God as You are meant to do. At last, I was not only beginning to find my own Power, I had finally been given peace. The war between the God of Man and the God of Me had been waging for years inside of me, but the swords were finally sheathed.

#7 Money, and the Law of Attraction, by Jerry and Esther Hicks (the teachings of Abraham, a collection of consciousness channeled through Esther Hicks)

At last we come to the end of the list, the final piece of the puzzle, the final lifting of the blinders into clear, progressive, leading-edge thinking. To be fair at one time not too long ago I did think that The Secret was the final piece, but that’s only until I met Abraham. So I suppose it is likely that there will be another teacher, another text that will take me even beyond where I am now, but I have to be quite honest and say that I really think this is It. I do not mean that “It” is the end of learning, or the end of expanding, that’s exactly it, it is not the END of anything, rather the reason Abraham I believe is the final piece is because I finally feel like I am at the BEGINNING! Not only that, but within the truths contained in their teachings is the notion that we are ALWAYS beginning, and that we will never get it done, we will always want more, and that dear friends is the sheer beauty of it.

Abraham are the ones who taught me that everything is energy, EVERYTHING is energy. Abraham taught me that the God inside me is real, and it is not just merely a “soul” that is somehow attached to God, it is a piece of God. I am a physical expression of Universal energy, experiencing itself here on Earth just for the joy of it. I am INFINITE!! There is not only one life, and then an eternity in one direction or the other, really wrap your mind around the amazing truth of that, can’t you just feel that resonating inside of you? You are Infinite! And speaking of being Infinite another one of the most profound discoveries I had at the behest of Abraham is the reality of death, and that it is not that big of a deal. Death is only the end of the physical body, NOT the end of the line, or the end of the human experience. We come back to this Earth again, and again, and again, always with the knowing that all is well, and always with the knowing that we have a guidance system inside of us that will lead us to the Truth.

See, The Secret is great but it is NOT THE WHOLE STORY. In order to really realize how Law of Attraction works, you must go beyond the surface application, be willing to DENY everything that modern religion has taught you about salvation or living life rightly, and OWN the fact that you are a piece of God, embodied in physical form, and that every thought you think serves for the progress of human race.

And speaking of that, I will conclude with my absolute favorite realization spurred by Abraham, honestly I could write pages and pages of all I have learned from them, but I will leave you with this. Not only are you as an individual Infinite, the Human Race and Earth is Infinite as well. Perhaps the most detrimental idea, at the veritable core of our human ignorance regarding LOA, is the fact that we one day this will all end with spiritual battle and bloodshed and the apocalypse. That is simply not so, not at all, not one little tiny bit. The ONLY thing certain is our EXPANSION as a human race, not our demise. And when I took the cue from Abraham and began to look at the world, its history, and the inevitable progression that we have traveled so far, I see that this is not only so right, but it is so inspiring and uplifting. We are at the dawn of an awakening, and although I do not deny that some civilizations as we know them will cease to exist, the Human Race will go on, forever.

Some people like to credit the aliens with building those mind-blowing, ancient structures we have unearthed. But what if it was not aliens at all? What if it was just humans, humans that KNEW their power, knew their connection to the Infinite, and knew that a collective consciousness that resonates at that high of a frequency, well, that can accomplish anything. We have spent the last few thousands of years denying that power, and finding all of these fancy ways to deny it even more, but let’s just hope that for the next few thousand, we will learn again how to use it.

 

 

Honorable Mentions: This is by no means a list of every book I have read, these were merely the beacons in the night. These figures, authors, books, and subjects have also contributed immensely to my understanding of The Universe and Law of Attraction: Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein; The Power, by Rhonda Byrne (sequel to The Secret); Anthony Robbins; Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill; A Guide to the Huna Way (ancient Hawaiian teachings of LOA); Alchemy, by St. Germain; 11:11 Awakening Code; and Joel Osteen.

Clean As You Go

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I was searching today… and by searching I mean straight up asking Infinite Intelligence to show me what I was missing. You see there is a certain manifestation of a certain vibration that has been popping its head up pretty regularly in my life. But in this particular instance, it is not a good thing and I had no idea what I was doing to make it keep happening. I tried to ignore it, to shift my thinking, to send positive thoughts and love to it, but yet it was the proverbial thorn in my side that just would NOT friggin come out. (Interjection: If you are new to the Law of Attraction, yes, that was me right there taking responsibility for someone toxic in my life. It does not mean that I blame myself for the way that they act, or think that I have done anything wrong, I just know that I *attract* every last detail of my life to myself, therefore if there is something unwanted in my life, it is because my alignment with my Source is off and my vibration is resonating on a frequency that is not beneficial. I do not have to change their actions or blame them to fix the situation, I merely know that I must raise my frequency. If I do they, there are only two things that can happen, either they will adjust and raise to my vibration and the relationship will no longer be toxic, or they will vibrate right out of my existence.)

**Flashback**

Earlier today, I read a blog article by Melody Fletcher. If you are a student of LOA and you like the smart ass way that *I* write, you should check her out, she’s awesome. The article I read centered around relationships but pertinent to today’s journey to enlightenment, I took from it that every person you attract to your life is there a) because you are a vibrational match to them and b) because you have something to learn from them which will help you raise your vibration even further and therefore expand and grow as we are meant to do.

So I Asked for the answer. Since obviously I had no idea what part of my vibration it was that kept attracting this circumstance to me, it was obvious that Melody was right: this person, this circumstance was here to teach me something. And if I could find out why I would not only raise my vibration high enough to rid myself of this predicament, I knew that it would probably reveal to me something much bigger than I even thought. Something that may even hold some answers to other facets of resistance I have been facing in my life.

I was right.

It was in the car ride home from the store that I “straight up asked,” and then my stream of consciousness went on its merry way until I arrived home to my sparkling, freshly cleaned kitchen. Prior to going to the store, it had been a wreck. I had a deadline today so for the past couple of days I have been in focused, dedicated writer mode, which means I use my work as an excuse to only go in there to dirty it up. But deadline was submitted and I refused to bring fresh groceries into a dirty kitchen so I got to it.  And as I am putting my groceries away, reveling in the sparkling freshness of my kitchen I realized how much I love a clean kitchen. Because I really, really do, something about a shiny sink and squeaky clean countertops just makes me feel all happy inside. (I’m pretty sure there is a name for that… it’s called OCD, but fortunately for me I don’t do labels.)

Well of course the vision of clean made me so grateful it was not dirty anymore, like it had been before I cleaned it. And the dirtiness of it before served immediately to amplify the awesomeness of the cleanliness. And then it hit me like a ton of dirty dishes. I do this a lottt… In fact, it seems that I like clean so much that I let it get dirty just so I can clean it up!

Jackpot.

Immediately I remembered something I had heard Abraham say on a couple of different occasions when they discuss why human beings often enjoy the drama of life and so create it, and therefore make things harder on themselves. They Said, “It is like hitting yourself over the head with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop.” And that is exactly what I have been doing, not only with the state of my kitchen, but with the state of my vibrational offering as well.

Lately, I have been noticing that in my spiritual journey and my path along the way to receiving everything I know I deserve and want for my life, that it feels like I take three steps forward and two steps back. And no, I did not get the cliché wrong there, that is really what I mean. It’s not one step forward and two steps back because I have been growing, I have been learning, I have been expanding, but it has felt like I have been making it a lot more difficult on myself than it should. I feel like I make progress and then I sabotage myself. And the manifestation of this in my life is that I grow, but not as fast I think I should.

But my beautiful kitchen made it all make sense. I clean up my vibration, I clean it up all nice and tidy and wonderful things start to happen and the door to My World starts to open but then I neglect my vibration, start to get down on myself, and then right before I’m about to take that last step back I raise it again. And it feels SO GOOD when I am back on my positive wavelength. In fact, I think I have been dirtying up my vibration because it feels SO GOOD when I clean it up!

Obviously I have not been doing this on purpose but I have been doing it all the same, and the Universe does not care whether you are offering your vibration intentionally or not. It simply responds to what you are sending out. But the worst (and the best! because I figured it out) part of this is that this is exactly why I have been in three-step/two-step mode. So naturally, the next question I asked myself was Why? Do I do this? Not just with my frequency but with my kitchen I mean for real, how hard is it to clean as you go? I’m just being lazy.

But then I re-thought that… No, that’s not exactly it, I am actually one of the most un-lazy people ever and I LOVE to clean (yes, boys, she’s single…). So it was not about being lazy, it was because I have trained myself to think that this was actually the more efficient way of doing things. Whether it stems from just my personality of wanting to feel like I’ve accomplished something big, or what, who cares, I hate psychology, the fact of the matter was that I had nurtured the belief that my “system” was “efficient” and so I continued on in this manner. And as I began to think more about it I realized that I was like this in several areas of my life, I have always been a rather “all or nothing” type of a girl. For example if I have four articles due on the same deadline, I cannot write a WORD until I have all four interviews completed and all the research for all four articles together. Even if I finish one of the interviews and research two weeks before deadline, I can never bring myself to write until I have it “all together.” Again, I am not sure why or how I came about thinking this was the right way to do things, this “method” had carried over from my physical reality to my vibrational reality and the process I use to maintain it. And the reason I kept doing it is because I had never thought to question my belief that what I was doing was the easiest way to do things.

Um, it’s not.

Of course I know that now, thank you Infinite Intelligence, and I believe that this is probably one of the biggest steps that I have taken in my journey of understanding how important it is to use the people and circumstances in your life to teach you how to live. When you decide to consciously take control of your World by controlling your thoughts, tuning into Source, and deliberately offering a vibration instead of just reacting to everything around you, you understand that everything in your existence is there for your good, for your progression, for your growth. Just because you may be standing in a place that you don’t want to be, does not mean that you are doing anything wrong. It simply means that you are focusing on the negative end of the spectrum, or that you are holding fast to a belief that no longer serves you, but whatever the case there is something to be learned. Many of us have heard the adage, what you do not like about other people is usually what you do not like about yourself. Although there may be some shred of truth to that statement, the presentation of it is all wrong. When there is someone in your existence that you do not necessarily “like,” or someone that is giving you a hard time, plain and simple you are giving off a signal that in some way matches theirs, this is Law. If you did not match up on some frequency with that person they could not be in your life, it is impossible. But it does not mean that there is something about yourself that you do not like, or if there is that is a-whole-nother blog because You are AWESOME. It simply means that there is something you are giving off that is not quite in tune with All That You Are, and it feels negative because you are not seeing it as Infinite Intelligence sees it. So take a step back, and do not punish yourself or try to psychoanalyze what you did wrong because you have done no such thing. Simply knowing that there is something to be learned is the only realization you need to make. And the only thing you must do from there is ask for it to be revealed to you. Everything you need to know about everything you are and everything you want to be is Right. Inside. You.

If you have questions about what I have said here, or would like me to expand on any certain part of this dialogue, feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly at Kimber.f@gmail.com.

Peace, Love, and Palm Trees,

Kimber