I was searching today… and by searching I mean straight up asking Infinite Intelligence to show me what I was missing. You see there is a certain manifestation of a certain vibration that has been popping its head up pretty regularly in my life. But in this particular instance, it is not a good thing and I had no idea what I was doing to make it keep happening. I tried to ignore it, to shift my thinking, to send positive thoughts and love to it, but yet it was the proverbial thorn in my side that just would NOT friggin come out. (Interjection: If you are new to the Law of Attraction, yes, that was me right there taking responsibility for someone toxic in my life. It does not mean that I blame myself for the way that they act, or think that I have done anything wrong, I just know that I *attract* every last detail of my life to myself, therefore if there is something unwanted in my life, it is because my alignment with my Source is off and my vibration is resonating on a frequency that is not beneficial. I do not have to change their actions or blame them to fix the situation, I merely know that I must raise my frequency. If I do they, there are only two things that can happen, either they will adjust and raise to my vibration and the relationship will no longer be toxic, or they will vibrate right out of my existence.)
Earlier today, I read a blog article by Melody Fletcher. If you are a student of LOA and you like the smart ass way that *I* write, you should check her out, she’s awesome. The article I read centered around relationships but pertinent to today’s journey to enlightenment, I took from it that every person you attract to your life is there a) because you are a vibrational match to them and b) because you have something to learn from them which will help you raise your vibration even further and therefore expand and grow as we are meant to do.
So I Asked for the answer. Since obviously I had no idea what part of my vibration it was that kept attracting this circumstance to me, it was obvious that Melody was right: this person, this circumstance was here to teach me something. And if I could find out why I would not only raise my vibration high enough to rid myself of this predicament, I knew that it would probably reveal to me something much bigger than I even thought. Something that may even hold some answers to other facets of resistance I have been facing in my life.
I was right.
It was in the car ride home from the store that I “straight up asked,” and then my stream of consciousness went on its merry way until I arrived home to my sparkling, freshly cleaned kitchen. Prior to going to the store, it had been a wreck. I had a deadline today so for the past couple of days I have been in focused, dedicated writer mode, which means I use my work as an excuse to only go in there to dirty it up. But deadline was submitted and I refused to bring fresh groceries into a dirty kitchen so I got to it. And as I am putting my groceries away, reveling in the sparkling freshness of my kitchen I realized how much I love a clean kitchen. Because I really, really do, something about a shiny sink and squeaky clean countertops just makes me feel all happy inside. (I’m pretty sure there is a name for that… it’s called OCD, but fortunately for me I don’t do labels.)
Well of course the vision of clean made me so grateful it was not dirty anymore, like it had been before I cleaned it. And the dirtiness of it before served immediately to amplify the awesomeness of the cleanliness. And then it hit me like a ton of dirty dishes. I do this a lottt… In fact, it seems that I like clean so much that I let it get dirty just so I can clean it up!
Immediately I remembered something I had heard Abraham say on a couple of different occasions when they discuss why human beings often enjoy the drama of life and so create it, and therefore make things harder on themselves. They Said, “It is like hitting yourself over the head with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop.” And that is exactly what I have been doing, not only with the state of my kitchen, but with the state of my vibrational offering as well.
Lately, I have been noticing that in my spiritual journey and my path along the way to receiving everything I know I deserve and want for my life, that it feels like I take three steps forward and two steps back. And no, I did not get the cliché wrong there, that is really what I mean. It’s not one step forward and two steps back because I have been growing, I have been learning, I have been expanding, but it has felt like I have been making it a lot more difficult on myself than it should. I feel like I make progress and then I sabotage myself. And the manifestation of this in my life is that I grow, but not as fast I think I should.
But my beautiful kitchen made it all make sense. I clean up my vibration, I clean it up all nice and tidy and wonderful things start to happen and the door to My World starts to open but then I neglect my vibration, start to get down on myself, and then right before I’m about to take that last step back I raise it again. And it feels SO GOOD when I am back on my positive wavelength. In fact, I think I have been dirtying up my vibration because it feels SO GOOD when I clean it up!
Obviously I have not been doing this on purpose but I have been doing it all the same, and the Universe does not care whether you are offering your vibration intentionally or not. It simply responds to what you are sending out. But the worst (and the best! because I figured it out) part of this is that this is exactly why I have been in three-step/two-step mode. So naturally, the next question I asked myself was Why? Do I do this? Not just with my frequency but with my kitchen I mean for real, how hard is it to clean as you go? I’m just being lazy.
But then I re-thought that… No, that’s not exactly it, I am actually one of the most un-lazy people ever and I LOVE to clean (yes, boys, she’s single…). So it was not about being lazy, it was because I have trained myself to think that this was actually the more efficient way of doing things. Whether it stems from just my personality of wanting to feel like I’ve accomplished something big, or what, who cares, I hate psychology, the fact of the matter was that I had nurtured the belief that my “system” was “efficient” and so I continued on in this manner. And as I began to think more about it I realized that I was like this in several areas of my life, I have always been a rather “all or nothing” type of a girl. For example if I have four articles due on the same deadline, I cannot write a WORD until I have all four interviews completed and all the research for all four articles together. Even if I finish one of the interviews and research two weeks before deadline, I can never bring myself to write until I have it “all together.” Again, I am not sure why or how I came about thinking this was the right way to do things, this “method” had carried over from my physical reality to my vibrational reality and the process I use to maintain it. And the reason I kept doing it is because I had never thought to question my belief that what I was doing was the easiest way to do things.
Um, it’s not.
Of course I know that now, thank you Infinite Intelligence, and I believe that this is probably one of the biggest steps that I have taken in my journey of understanding how important it is to use the people and circumstances in your life to teach you how to live. When you decide to consciously take control of your World by controlling your thoughts, tuning into Source, and deliberately offering a vibration instead of just reacting to everything around you, you understand that everything in your existence is there for your good, for your progression, for your growth. Just because you may be standing in a place that you don’t want to be, does not mean that you are doing anything wrong. It simply means that you are focusing on the negative end of the spectrum, or that you are holding fast to a belief that no longer serves you, but whatever the case there is something to be learned. Many of us have heard the adage, what you do not like about other people is usually what you do not like about yourself. Although there may be some shred of truth to that statement, the presentation of it is all wrong. When there is someone in your existence that you do not necessarily “like,” or someone that is giving you a hard time, plain and simple you are giving off a signal that in some way matches theirs, this is Law. If you did not match up on some frequency with that person they could not be in your life, it is impossible. But it does not mean that there is something about yourself that you do not like, or if there is that is a-whole-nother blog because You are AWESOME. It simply means that there is something you are giving off that is not quite in tune with All That You Are, and it feels negative because you are not seeing it as Infinite Intelligence sees it. So take a step back, and do not punish yourself or try to psychoanalyze what you did wrong because you have done no such thing. Simply knowing that there is something to be learned is the only realization you need to make. And the only thing you must do from there is ask for it to be revealed to you. Everything you need to know about everything you are and everything you want to be is Right. Inside. You.
If you have questions about what I have said here, or would like me to expand on any certain part of this dialogue, feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly at Kimber.firstname.lastname@example.org.
Peace, Love, and Palm Trees,